Reference Back

Themes
Music, loss,  painful memories, separation, the onset of time.

Content
This poem is most likely based upon Larkin and his own mother, whom he visited regularly following his father's death. Through playing records in a separate room of his mother's house, mother and son connect over their joint losses-the memories of which are evoked by the music.


Analysis

• The title of the poem is both a musical term and a reference to looking back on events of the past, thus connecting the past with music.
• The poem begins with the mother commenting that the record previously played was "a pretty one".  The word "pretty" seems to be a less powerful adjective which suggests that while the mother was not particularly interested in the music, she wanted to appear so in order to connect with her son.
• Repetition of the word "unsatisfactory" may be included to show that the speaker does not enjoy their time at home with their mother and believes it be "wasting" their time. In comparison, the speaker's mother obviously "Looked...forward" to the times that her son came over and this dichotomy of thought highlights the gap between the two people in terms of distance and feelings. There is little intimacy, with the son even staying in a separate room to his mother as a method of avoidance, perhaps because it was awkward and uncomfortable to be reminded of his dead father. The son derived little pleasure from the experience.
• However, through playing such records as "Oliver's Riverside Blues", the persona is reminded of his youth and the time spent with his mother which he did not appreciate as much as he should have. A "sudden bridge" is made between mother and son as music helps them to reconnect but these memories are fleeting (like a "flock" of birds flying away). Larkin personally enjoyed listening to the jazz style of music that he makes reference to and at the time, it was new and radical-breaking down barriers and originating not from main culture. It was the first time that African-American music had become popular and it was a certain kind of soulful and truthful music.
• At the end of the second stanza, the word "unsatisfactory" yet again appears to describe the mother's "unsatisfactory age" and son's "unsatisfactory prime". It would appear that no matter what a person's age, they will never be truly satisfied and there will always be something lacking from their life. Despite being in his "prime", the son is no more happy than his mother and it has been interpreted by some that this is because he feels guilty for his relative youth in comparison to his mother.
• As is common in many of Larkin's poems, the poem switches from describing an everyday event to speaking in more philosophical terms, with the poem discarding the second-person pronouns such as "you" in order to become more universal. Larkin states that "our element is time" as we govern our lives according to time and age, however, we are "not suited to the long perspectives". We are not suited to the reflection that ordinary instances bring about as "they link us to our losses". Through music in particular, we remember that which is lost to us and by constantly delving into the past, we can never appreciate our present.
• Our memories allow us to once again see ourselves in youth as "blindingly undiminished", with vast reserves of hope and vibrancy. Whilst our memories sometimes appear fresh in our minds, we have decayed and aged. Larkin consequently ends by questioning whether "By acting differently", we could have changed what happened in our lives and remained happy and vibrant- our life decisions have considerable impact upon us. However, the use of the qualifier "as though" and "could" implies that this would never have been possible.
• Overall, Larkin is commenting on the breakdown of relationships and our bodies over time and therefore, how having long memories can be painful and depressing. We constantly question areas of the past which we might have done better and regret having not appreciated the time we did have. Even simple things such as a record can take us back to certain times which we now long for but cannot go back to-melancholy. On the other hand, some people often don't wish to revisit the past and want to stay firmly in the present.

Links to other poems
'Broadcast'-music and the idea of separation
'Love Songs in Age'-the link between music and memories, melancholy reflection on what was but has now decayed
'Nothing To Be Said'-how our life choices and reflection all bring us closer to death
'For Sidney Bechet'-jazz music as a method to allow reflection
'Dockery and Son', 'Self's the Man'-our choices determine the rest of our lives-regret
'Send No Money'-watching time pass and not appreciating it


Academic links: http://enlangjohnstoneh.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/reference-back-by-phillip-larkin.html