Return to Cardiff

Themes
Journeys, childhood memories-nostalgia, home, changing perceptions, disappointment

Content
This poem is another one of Abse's poems concerning journeys to or from his hometown of Cardiff. In this case, it is the first time that Abse/the persona has returned home since leaving and their perceptions of the area have changed since childhood. However, they still think on their memories fondly and cannot help but speak kindly of Cardiff in some terms.

Analysis

• From the start, it is clear that the speaker holds no great feelings towards  their hometown and claims that "most" (thus excluding himself) hold "an affection" for the place where they grew up. "Affection" itself is not a strong verb and holds little passion.
• The memories that their return to Cardiff evoke appear to be those of failure and "torments" as the speaker reminisces on their "first botched love affair" and laughs at their own stupidity in youth through the word "fool". However, these were the "First everything" (emphasised through caesura) and consequently, will always hold significance within their life. These were milestone memories and sentimental but as the word "Faded" connotes, they are also scars that will never heal.
• As the speaker returns, they are overwhelmed by "mislaid identities"-people who they once were but have moved away from since. Their childhood memories appear to be ruined in that they now view their surroundings much differently to when they were a child. The places and areas they visited seem "smaller" and less worthy of admiration- the "castle" is not a "gothic dream" but a "joker's toy façade". In youth, imagination can take a person away from their problems, which are generally minor as shown through the examples of memories, but once a person matures, bleak reality seeps in and with it, the sad realisation that everything cannot live up to expectations.
• The idea that the memories are "unfocused" implies that they are fading and harder to recollect. Cardiff is a completely different place to that which the speaker remembers and it has been interpreted that they have become confused as their memories seem to not match up to reality-lies. An analogy is used in that "the door opened" on a specific memory, clearly that of his deceased "grandfather", displaying how we are able to push memories to the back of our minds to avoid the hurt.
• The Cardiff that the speaker returns to is "alien and bleak"-"a city of strangers". They are now the outsider confused by their surroundings yet they still "love" their hometown for what they "wanted it to be as much as for what it unashamedly is".  Whilst the place where they grew up could never match up to their hopes, they cannot help but defend it and hold some type of endearment towards it-it was an integral part of their life. Despite this, there will always be some level of disappointment and the change to the area makes them "Unable to communicate". The speaker has become caught up in the past rather than the present with the "sense reflections" constantly switching and distorting like ripples on a lake. Abse uses contrast to compare the "anchored waterscapes" to the speaker's own unstable position.
• Moreover, a further example of contrast comes in the form of the "Illusory" elements being compared to the "real...smell of ripe, dank earth", though this smell is only present at certain times. Like the "dark playground", the speaker is "lost" and trying to find their way back to the present and nature is the stabiliser as it always continues regardless of the human lives that pass by. The fact that the smell is "half exquisite and half plain" could relate to the idea that the speaker's childhood was both joyful and monotonous. On the other hand, it could be referring to the different stages that make up our lives and that youth is exuberant and vibrant whilst adulthood is boring.
• The final stanza focuses on the "other Cardiff". The Cardiff of their memories has been dispelled and stored away ("tinned")- it is "smoke in the memory". Abse ends the poem with the statement "where the boy I was not and the man I am not/ met, hesitated, left double footsteps, then walked on". As reinforced through the caesura, Abse is differentiating between his childhood self and adult self, highlighting how a person's identity is always changing. However, Abse's hometown is where all paths collide and will therefore always hold great significance to him. The line could also be taken to mean that Abse is disappointed in both of his selves and the people they were "not".
• Whilst the poem generally consists of alternating long and short lines, there are two whole paragraphs which consist only of long lines, perhaps because they describe the reality of Cardiff and not the Cardiff of memory.

Links to Larkin

Themes- 'Love Songs in Age'- Both of these poems contain mournful reflections on the past and the idea that the speaker's hopes and dreams could never be met. They are both alone and consumed by the past.
'Here'- the theme of journeys is predominant in that they allow a person a snapshot of life which then vanishes before being fully grasped
'Send No Money'- in both poems, time has passed and with it comes the mature understanding of a wasted childhood. The difference between a person in their youth and in adulthood is starkly highlighted
'A Study Of Reading Habits'- in youth, people believe in things that they see to be foolish once they are older as reality obliterates any imaginings
'The Importance Of Elsewhere'- in going back to Cardiff, Abse no longer feels like he belongs, as is the same in Larkin's poem-they are strangers in the places they have always known
'MCMXIV'-nature cares not for humans and the way they spend their lives-it is simply constant and methodical.

Tone- The tone throughout Abse's poem seems to be sad and melancholy but also still interspersed with some bittersweet moments. Similar to 'Here', 'The Whitsun Weddings' and ' Reference Back' in that respect. In 'Reference Back', despite Larkin's mother's increasing age, they can still connect over music and reflect on life.

Techniques- Both this poem by Abse and the poem 'Love Songs in Age' make reference to something being "faded" or "bleached" (adjectives)-the memories have become distorted and have lost their vibrancy.
Similar to 'Love Songs in Age' also and 'Essential Beauty', caesura is used to highlight the difference between reality and dreams.
The metaphor of the castle as "a joker's toy façade' links to the metaphor for death ("Granny Graveclothes") in 'Essential Beauty'. Both are jokingly displaying the reality of life and the situation.

Critical view: http://www.walesartsreview.org/a-tribute-to-dannie-abse-a-look-at-return-to-cardiff/